Not all Eurovision is cheesy rubbish - occasionally the song contest throws up moments of genius, or things that are so bizarre that they are fascinating.
So here are my top Eurovision moments from recent years -
Sebastien Tellier - France 2008
How did this not win? The legend that is SebTel, a great tune and a wonderfully weird performance
Teapacks - Israel 2007
Gogol Bordello meets Rage Against the Machine. Plus anything else you want to chuck in!
Neil Hannon - Trafalgar
OK, so this doesn't really count as it wasn't a true Eurovision entry, but it's absolutely brilliant
Rufus - Estonia 2003
Just a really good song. No messing about. And they predicted correctly - 80's were coming back!
France Gall - France 1965
written by Serge Gainsbourg. Enough said.
Saturday, 23 May 2009
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
The plot thickens...
I haven't given up yet! The stupiest idea since Ricky Hatton thought "Pacquiao - I could beat him, he looks a bit gay" is still very much a reality. Well, a possibility. Ok - i've pissed about on the internet a bit.
After some intense research (google, then wikipedia) I have found out a bit more about how the songs get chosen for the contest. I was naively under the impression that a little chilled out island like Malta's selection process must just be a few esteemed members of the community (chief of police, El Presidente, head of the equivalent of the Women's Institute) sitting round a table in a beachside bar, listening to a few songs over a few Sangrias and then pick one of the tunes at random. Preferably one with some dreadful English lyrics. I foolishly envisaged myself finding out when the conflab was happening - hop on an Easyjet, gatecrash the meeting with my trusty old Ibanez and serenade them with the song (OK it doesn't exist yet - i'm working on it), at which point they would spontaneously burst into applause, except the Chief of Police who would spontaneously burst into big sploshing tears and offer me his 17 year old daughters hand in marriage (which of course I would decline being happily married already).
It would then be a whirlwing publicity tour of Malta, and then off to Oslo to clean up in the ceremony.
If only...
It's dawned on me that I know absolutely nothing about Malta. The only thing I know about Malta is that the snooker player Tony Drago is from there. I don't think that's going to get me very far with El Presidente... And as you can see from my meanderings above, I appear to be mixing Malta with garbled visions of Italy, Spain, Greek Islands and South America.
After having read up on it, it appears the selection process is a televised public vote, not too far removed from our own process in the UK (although thankfully without the repugnant Andrew Lloyd Webber with his face that looks like it's been drawn on by a drunk 4 year old child).
It is an extremely long and convultued process, beginning with songs being submitted to the TV stations office, and then going through numerous TV heats being whittled down to the 'Super-Final' where the Maltese public choose the winning entry. I might need a bit more time off work than I initially thought...
Also, a couple of other stumbling blocks - 1. There were hundreds of songs submitted, by various professional artists and Eurovision hopefuls. There is also mention of the Union of Maltese Singers and Songwriters (UKAM) being involved. Unions - this sounds a bit serious. The Maltese musicians may not take too kindly to some amateur strolling in trying to hijack the contest.
2. The whole point of this is that I try to write the song in Maltese, therefore showing that it is possible to write lyrics in a different language without resorting to cliche... but all but one of this years contendors were in bloody English!!! I've got a feeling Maltese may not be as popular language as I thought...
to be continued...
After some intense research (google, then wikipedia) I have found out a bit more about how the songs get chosen for the contest. I was naively under the impression that a little chilled out island like Malta's selection process must just be a few esteemed members of the community (chief of police, El Presidente, head of the equivalent of the Women's Institute) sitting round a table in a beachside bar, listening to a few songs over a few Sangrias and then pick one of the tunes at random. Preferably one with some dreadful English lyrics. I foolishly envisaged myself finding out when the conflab was happening - hop on an Easyjet, gatecrash the meeting with my trusty old Ibanez and serenade them with the song (OK it doesn't exist yet - i'm working on it), at which point they would spontaneously burst into applause, except the Chief of Police who would spontaneously burst into big sploshing tears and offer me his 17 year old daughters hand in marriage (which of course I would decline being happily married already).
It would then be a whirlwing publicity tour of Malta, and then off to Oslo to clean up in the ceremony.
If only...
It's dawned on me that I know absolutely nothing about Malta. The only thing I know about Malta is that the snooker player Tony Drago is from there. I don't think that's going to get me very far with El Presidente... And as you can see from my meanderings above, I appear to be mixing Malta with garbled visions of Italy, Spain, Greek Islands and South America.
After having read up on it, it appears the selection process is a televised public vote, not too far removed from our own process in the UK (although thankfully without the repugnant Andrew Lloyd Webber with his face that looks like it's been drawn on by a drunk 4 year old child).
It is an extremely long and convultued process, beginning with songs being submitted to the TV stations office, and then going through numerous TV heats being whittled down to the 'Super-Final' where the Maltese public choose the winning entry. I might need a bit more time off work than I initially thought...
Also, a couple of other stumbling blocks - 1. There were hundreds of songs submitted, by various professional artists and Eurovision hopefuls. There is also mention of the Union of Maltese Singers and Songwriters (UKAM) being involved. Unions - this sounds a bit serious. The Maltese musicians may not take too kindly to some amateur strolling in trying to hijack the contest.
2. The whole point of this is that I try to write the song in Maltese, therefore showing that it is possible to write lyrics in a different language without resorting to cliche... but all but one of this years contendors were in bloody English!!! I've got a feeling Maltese may not be as popular language as I thought...
to be continued...
Sunday, 17 May 2009
THE BEGINNING OF THE JOURNEY
Watching Eurovision last night (yes that's right. I was watching Eurovision. Wanna make something of it?) I was surprised as I always am at the shocking quality of the English lyrics. A constant barrage of cliche and mixed metaphor, half arsed paens to peace and coming together across europe, or dreadful love songs. Is this the best that our European comrades can come up with when they adopt the English language?
Then watching Malta's entry - actually a pretty good number sung by a... how can I put this? A well rounded performer, the Moyet-like Chiara - I expressed my feelings about the poor quality of the English. They are -
Words of wisdom, prophets and quotes
Wise men talking, tales from the old
I reach for the stars, wherever they are, in darkness
We’re lost, fading away
What if we could be free?
Mystify our wisdom in time
and one day we’ll see
What if we found the key?
Throw the dice, unravel our lies
and learn how to be
All the madness feeding our soul
Take a wild guess out of control
There will be a star, no matter how far, shining
One day we’ll sail away
What if we could be free?
Mystify our wisdom in time
and one day we’ll see
What if we found the key?
Throw the dice, unravel our lies
and learn how to be
If you don’t know your destination
Who determines your destiny?
What if we could be free?
Mystify our wisdom in time
and one day we’ll see
What if we found the key?
Throw the dice, unravel our lies
and learn how to be
I know - what a load of rubbish.
Here's the tune -
I foolishly remarked to the gathered few (i'd like to point out - it wasn't a Eurovision party, jut a few people drinking wine and watching Eurovision. Totally different) how the lyrics just weren't good enough - at which point I was challenged "I'd like to see you write a better song in Maltese"
To which I replied - "I could - and I will!" So I am now commited to writing a song, in Maltese, of a quality higher than that produced by professional writers and musicians. Albeit professional writers and musicians - from Malta.
As well as this as a fan of the Tony Hawks/ Danny Wallace/ Dave Gorman 'challenge' novel genre I couldn't just leave it at that. What's the point in just writing a song, and playing it to a few people I know? How can I judge whether or not it is better than "What if we"?
The only way to know for sure is to -
1. To get my song (when written) selected to represent the Republic of Malta in Eurovison 2010
2. Achieve more than the 31 points/ 22nd place achieved by Chiara.
To achieve this I need to overcome some baoundaries -
1. Unlike comedian/ writers Messers Wallace, Hawks and Gorman - I've got a full time job.
2. I don't speak any Maltese, have never been to Malta, and don't know anyone from Malta
3. I'm not a particularly good song writer - i've written a handful in my life, none of which have ever been particuarly good. My main issue is that other than being able to just about hold a tune and play approximately 7 chords on the guitar I have no musical talent whatsoever.
So here we go then... come along for the ride. Who knows? It might end up being made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey.
Ha jkolli mmur - Ghandi bzonn nipprattika l-Malti!
Then watching Malta's entry - actually a pretty good number sung by a... how can I put this? A well rounded performer, the Moyet-like Chiara - I expressed my feelings about the poor quality of the English. They are -
Words of wisdom, prophets and quotes
Wise men talking, tales from the old
I reach for the stars, wherever they are, in darkness
We’re lost, fading away
What if we could be free?
Mystify our wisdom in time
and one day we’ll see
What if we found the key?
Throw the dice, unravel our lies
and learn how to be
All the madness feeding our soul
Take a wild guess out of control
There will be a star, no matter how far, shining
One day we’ll sail away
What if we could be free?
Mystify our wisdom in time
and one day we’ll see
What if we found the key?
Throw the dice, unravel our lies
and learn how to be
If you don’t know your destination
Who determines your destiny?
What if we could be free?
Mystify our wisdom in time
and one day we’ll see
What if we found the key?
Throw the dice, unravel our lies
and learn how to be
I know - what a load of rubbish.
Here's the tune -
I foolishly remarked to the gathered few (i'd like to point out - it wasn't a Eurovision party, jut a few people drinking wine and watching Eurovision. Totally different) how the lyrics just weren't good enough - at which point I was challenged "I'd like to see you write a better song in Maltese"
To which I replied - "I could - and I will!" So I am now commited to writing a song, in Maltese, of a quality higher than that produced by professional writers and musicians. Albeit professional writers and musicians - from Malta.
As well as this as a fan of the Tony Hawks/ Danny Wallace/ Dave Gorman 'challenge' novel genre I couldn't just leave it at that. What's the point in just writing a song, and playing it to a few people I know? How can I judge whether or not it is better than "What if we"?
The only way to know for sure is to -
1. To get my song (when written) selected to represent the Republic of Malta in Eurovison 2010
2. Achieve more than the 31 points/ 22nd place achieved by Chiara.
To achieve this I need to overcome some baoundaries -
1. Unlike comedian/ writers Messers Wallace, Hawks and Gorman - I've got a full time job.
2. I don't speak any Maltese, have never been to Malta, and don't know anyone from Malta
3. I'm not a particularly good song writer - i've written a handful in my life, none of which have ever been particuarly good. My main issue is that other than being able to just about hold a tune and play approximately 7 chords on the guitar I have no musical talent whatsoever.
So here we go then... come along for the ride. Who knows? It might end up being made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey.
Ha jkolli mmur - Ghandi bzonn nipprattika l-Malti!
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